Saturday, February 28, 2009

Women on the street

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I <3 Twisty

One of the lights of my life is Twisty Faster Knowing that she exists in the world helps me sleep at night. Just a few of my favorite lines from her latest:

Am I glad that my mother didn’t think I was a blastocyst and a parasitic growth that she had to suffer through? Well, Lonni, I’m afraid my mother did think that I was a blastocyst and a parasitic growth that she had to suffer through. She still does. But the larger point is that, had she elected to excise the clump of cells that would eventually become the low-status, subhuman spinster aunt you see before you, I would have had no views on the subject either way, for the simple reason that I would not have existed. Neither parasitic growths nor non-existent spinster aunts possess the capacity for opinion.

Am I moved by “the pictures of an aborted baby”? Because it is so cute and tiny? And its cute tininess should be all the evidence necessary to rationalize the annexation of my uterus and the subjugation of my person?

No, I am not moved. As several blamers pointed out yesterday, even if you call the body-snatcher a baby, if it is leeching off my personal internal organs, and if having it there displeases me for any reason whatsoever, and the only way to get it out is to kill it, then kill it I will. When another entity appropriates sovereignty over my person, what am I but a slave? As a human being, I object unconditionally to enslavement, for me or for anyone else.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Boys and Abortion

It's been a source of lingering shock to me that when we talk about abortion we NEVER talk about boys. Hello - girls don't knock themselves up, it takes two to tango so why does the abortion-drama happen entirely in womanland? The only men I see actively involved are the ones protesting outside the clinic (a conversation for another day)or the ones crying "but doesn't the father get a choice!?! (even writing that gets me sort of heated up). But I found this article Roe vs. Wade vs. My Boyfriend and it makes a little more sense. Not more sense that we don't talk about the boys involved, but more sense about why it's not always safe to take the convo out of womanland. Some lack of empathy, some disconnect between saying the words "I believe it's a woman's choice" (or not) and actually dealing with the physical and emotional reality of an abortion. It's like the difference between knowing that girls get their period and seeing the actual uterine lining.

It was simply something that happened to me, and I shared it with my friends like I would've shared any other story. It would have felt wrong not to. My female friends laughed when I laughed, commiserated when I needed it and treated the procedure as lightheartedly as I did. That's all I wanted. To be able to define my own experience, not the other way around.

But there was a palpable discomfort when I had the same conversation with men. For the guys I was dating, the idea of a vacuum-like apparatus being the last visitor in my vagina was more troubling than if it had been, say, Stalin's penis. Even die-hard liberals who would wax on about a woman's right to choose were downright uncomfortable when actually presented with a woman who chose.

My friend Allie was warned. When she'd had an abortion a year before me, she was treated by a sweet, tattooed, hippie nurse practitioner who provided her with some advice: "Do you have a boyfriend? Maybe don't tell boys. Sometimes boys don't know how to deal with this."

Jezebel's Megan wonders if it's not the maturity that comes from the experience of being in an actual long term relationship that privy's men to the inner workings of our female pipes, but I wonder if it's only in the best of relationships that the honest, open, communication gets to the point of seeing used tampons. I wonder if unfortunately (seriously - unfortunately)far too many men don't get enough of an education about "icky girl stuff". I wonder if men don't need to do some more research.

Sunday, February 15, 2009


I just went outside barefoot for the first time this year. Someone told me they saw a robin.

I think spring's coming :)

Update: The window at the gym was open!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

A short reading list

The personal is political. The choices you make affect others in the world. But when something happens to you - when someone makes a choice that affects you it's ok to choose what's best for you above everything else. I think that in cases of domestic and sexual violence it is not the responsibility of the victim to take on the weight of the world. Sometimes it is up to us who have been lucky to be political while those who haven't take time to heal. My Sexual Assault is Not Your Political Issue

It is our responsibility, us who have been lucky, to take on systems that traumatize victims. To advocate those who have been silenced. It takes all of us to fight systems of our nation that are unjust. Change is slow so it is also our responsibility to be honest to victims (Open Letter to Rihanna)about what comes next (a different perspective)

An older article about domestic violencewithin and without of hip hop

Annual national census on domestic violence.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Saint Valentine's Day

I really like Valentine's day and related festivities so I'm trying to revel in them without letting those Valentine nay-sayers bring me down (difficult task for a pisces!) People who hate Valentine's are lame. So lame they can only repeat the same three excuses which I now intent to eviscerate now.

1. "Valentine's is just a consumerist ploy based purely on the marketing evil-geniuses at Hallmark, Russel Stover and 1-800-flower."
Get a life. You can boycott consumerism and still make special effort to be grateful for all the love in your life - romantic or otherwise. Its a consumerist holiday because y'all are too damn lazy to be imaginative and creative to come up with an original and thoughtful gift that you make yourself. Dumbass.

2. "I'm loving and awesome all the time why should I be peer pressured into doing anything nice on this particular day?"
It is not an excuse that you show love other times of the year. Like Thanksgiving, you should be thankful all year, or mothers day, you should love your mom all year, but there's one day designated to make sure we take pause in our busy lives and make sure that those who matter to us know it and feel it, whether you show it with flowers and chocolate or a handmade card and a kiss. Plus - if that's your line of bullshit then I would wager you in fact are not as nice and sweet as you claim but are instead a prick.

3. "Valentine's day is lame because I have no mans"
LOVE is all around. You just can't see it because you're so focused on one kind.

4. The bottom line is that if it matters to your parter it should matter to you because S/HE matters. So whether or not you think flowers symbolize your feelings, you should take into consideration if s/he thinks flowers symbolize your feelings and do it for the sole fact that it will make her happy. Stop complaining and being selfish and annoying and do something for someone else. Or at least don't do it around me.

Happy Valentine's!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Kate the Great is no more

This is a sad story. You may recall a defeated yet optimistic post 6 months ago. Optimistic because it was a mere 6 months until the next release of the worlds (second) best and fantastically named beer and this time I would be prepared. I had my spies on the prowl, and I had determination in my heart. Unfortunately my spies took a new job in Manchester last month and refused to take a day off to stand in line and get me a pint of the world's greatest birthday present. And so my life remains incomplete.

Thursday, February 5, 2009


My first official post is up on the UVScene. I'm on Thirsty Thursdays this month. Check it out!

thank god you're old

The Phyllis Schlafly Report on NEA Resolutions. As my friend said “at least she’s closer to death than youth”. It’s old but the definitions are amazing!