Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Sometimes when I can't quite articulate what I'm thinking it seems someone else can. I have mixed feelings about this review of the Burn because what I've struggled with most is my expectation of the community he writes of; I was realistic about the dust, and the heat. I was ready for the nudity. My biggest disillusionment was realizing that my utopic expectation wasn't the truth about BurningMan for everyone.

And there were all those people who wanted to know more about you, what you were about, and you felt like it was ok to talk from the heart, and for a change you didn’t worry about what they’d say or think later. You didn’t feel the cynicism creeping in the way it normally does, because it was a different scene. Yeah, you still made fun of funky hippies (How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Hippies don’t change anything”), but most of the time you went for it, you decided to be genuine, and it came right back at you.

Alright, alright, maybe I still have a little dust in my eyes. But it felt that way more than it didn’t.

I’ll say this, though: It wasn’t the crazies and party hearty-ers on the playa after the Burn who made me want to stay. The bizarreness and randomness and kind of desperate revelry weren’t much of a lure. People were too weird, too out there, too nutsy. (And it seemed like the words “leave no trace” didn’t hold much weight that night; there was lots of crap being tossed around pretty casually.)

As time goes on and the default people keep asking "would you go back" I have a stronger and stronger physical desire to say "yes". Maybe I need to take more responsibility to seeking out the people who will uplift my next experience, or maybe I'm getting stuck in a mastery cycle to prove if I try again I can make the experience what I envisioned.

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