A Feminist Thanksgiving

While the holiday itself may not be based in the most feminist of histories, I appreciate the opportunity to take pause and realize in the blur of every day all the wonderful people, places and things all around.

Danine, of Danine.net gave us in the Super Secret Feminist Blog Alliance (whom I'm SUPER thankful for!) the opportunity to give our feminist thanks. While mine is certainly not the most articulate, it's lovely to hear of inspiring feminists and feminism happening and inspiring from locally to globally.

What are you thankful for?

A Burning List

This may be my guiding list for the new year.

I would have added:
Another Roadside Attraction - Tom Robbins
The Little Prince - Antoine Saint-Exupery
A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

What books do you recommend?

What's changed?

So often I'm struck hard in the face with how much work there's still to be done. People confusing exploitation with empowerment, victim blaming, slut shaming, hating on women (or any minority), for blaming "othered" religions for violence rather than institutions that train men to kill.....

It gets hard to think about all the accomplishments that are happening along side. So when The Undomestic Goddess asked readers to "describe one thing that has changed for women from 1960 to present and how it has affected you." I took it as an opportunity to reflect on something positive. So here's my response (and put out good vibes for me to win the raffle for Gail Collins new book When Everything Changed: The Amazing Journey of American Women from 1960 to Present.)

My boyfriend woke up this morning to make me coffee and breakfast while I got ready for work. He's spending the day buying groceries and cleaning the house. I'm spending the day in an ALL female office. And I have no plans of marrying him.

So thanks to all the feminists that have vastly improved my ability to live. I hope my work will only continue the successes.

Gendered Halloween

So we know that Halloween and "slutty" have become synonymous for most girls. I know this, it hurts me, I refuse to participate, but I'm tired of reading about it. What else is new? So I tend to skip over articles re: gender dichotomy in Halloween costumes (tho there's much to be said in terms of bringing the socialization to light, and highlighting our "others"). If you're not familiar with this - it's perfectly described in the Mean Girls clip below.




However this comment which just came to me on a listserv sparked a bit of a lightbulb moment for me, and I was excited so I'm sharing:

Last night I noticed that very few of the young guys dressed up; they were in their usual garb of extra-wide, extra-long pants and t-shirts and jacket.
But I was amazed to see so many young women dressed and made up like prostitutes. There certainly wasn't much variety with the young women.

- Barbara Passero

The observation being not that all the boys are violent and all the girls are slutty, but that girls were the only ones dressing up at all! Are we at a point when creativity AT ALL is no longer masculine-acceptable?

Ballerina & Cat in the Hat

I went out this Halloween w/ boys(men) who were SO excited to get dressed up! One was thrilled for the opportunity to wear makeup and escape the "gay" slurs. Are younger boys now not even allowed the one night of the year where they can be expressive and creative instead of "cool"?

Guest Post

“I’m an artist and a community organizer, and I believe in peace and love, and I believe we need to keep putting our stuff out there; it puts out the intention for a bigger reality.”
-Shannya Sollitt

I have a post up at Small Strokes for the October Salon: What Feminism means to me. Enjoy and comment!!

*Complements of the Super Secret Feminist Blogging Alliance!

Body Image, Vanity, and Privilege

I spend a good portion of my (white, privileged) day talking to young girls and women (mostly white, privileged) about how the world is only concerned with their bodies. How their bodies look - not what they can do. How their bodies are flawed, and what products and services (surgeries) they need to correct their bodies. How their bodies must be (as Twisty calls it) beauty2k compliant, which of course means their bodies must be attractive to men.

I spend a good portion of my day talking to girls and women about how they are more than what they look like. They are more than how their bodies are judged. I spend massive air time talking about how we could appreciate our bodies for what they are capable of. We could appreciate ourselves for what we're capable of. Advertising be damned, we could be human whether or not we're beauty2k compliant.

And then I read this post from Womanist Musings this morning; an open letter of sorts to the Jolie-Pitts (actually really just to Angelina, there didn't seem to be the sense that Brad should do the hair care for the girls) telling them that Zahara's hair is a mess, and that equals bad/racist/privileged/ignorant parenting. (She's not the only one - Google Zahara Jolie Pitt Hair)

So I read this post and I kept fluctuating between "I'm white and privileged so what do I know" and "maybe Zahara's family doesn't care about her hair because they care about her person instead." We're talking about a little girl. From what I hear an active, happy, engaging little girl. Maybe she doesn't want her hair done. Maybe she'd rather run around and play then worry about how she looks.

I have read (I couldn't know) that Black hair matters. I know that we live in a racist culture that politicizes and judges Black women by their hair. But we also live in a sexist culture, one that demands women (and girls) look a certain way (read: attractive to men). I can't help but think that to break free of the racist and sexist cultures must be liberating. Black or not - FUCK what people think about your hair, or your lips, boobs, ass. What if WE as a culture cared more about what girls (of any race) can or want to DO?

While it's valid that the Jolie-Pitts may be lacking in some cultural understandings, this doesn't convince me that because something is culturally true that it's right. Musings may be right that Zahara may be faced in the future with judgment about her hair, which may be the fault of her white parents not understanding how to care for Black hair. But I would like to imagine that in those moments of Judgment Zahara would respond. FUCK what you think about my hair, I'm a whole person, and that would show me that perhaps her parents gave her more than styling cream.

*In related news, Chris Rock comes out with a documentary called Good Hair this week stemming from a conversation with his young daughter who wished she had her friends "good hair".

Update: Gender Across Borders saw Good Hair and has a review up raising some really pertinent points about authenticity (and privilege!)

Dating feminist

I posted awhile back on my thoughts about dating feminist. Or more specifically, what it meant to me to be dating a feminist - or not. Ultimately, I thought while feminism's important to me, this man was too and it wasn't something he was ready for. We've talked about it more, and for me it's really been about honoring his process, whether that lead to the word Feminist or not.

SO! Imagine my excitement when I flip to the latest in The UnDomestic 10 - a fellow feminist blogger's series of 10 questions on the status of women and girls. (My answers went up yesterday) and there's my shiny, happy boyfriend (wearing my favorite shirt which he stole and now takes insolent pictures of to torture me.) He's funny and honest and endearing - and he calls himself a feminist. I'm a lucky gal!

For more JonBeard awesomeness read some of his poetry.